My karmic curse....with a married man

My long-term boyfriend has just unceremoniously dumped me (well, two weeks ago). We had been living together in London for the last two years despite him being married to another woman who lived overseas. He kept saying he would leave initially, then he said he needed time to sort out logistics etc because he has children. I accepted all of this and promised to give him all the time he needed as long as he was ultimately coming back to me. I thought he was.....

Having procrastinated for two years as to what to do, he suddenly left London 3 weeks ago. A week later he called to say we both needed to move on, and two weeks later I went to his apartment and he had arranged for all his belongings to be moved out. I have heard nothing from him since...although I still have a bunch of his belongings hanging in my apartment - the apartment where everything I look at reminds me of him.

I'm sure many people will say that I have got what I deserved. And maybe I have....I certainly am beginning to believe in the concept of karma...and all my bad karma seems to be coming to get me right now.

However, no matter how much I might have "asked for it", we can't help who we fall in love with. The only thing I can say is that I love(d) him absolutely, I didn't see this coming and it has left me devastated. I have cried more tears than I ever care to cry again.  I have stayed in bed for days, I have gone out to get outrageously drunk with friends (and strangers!) in the hope that I could maybe make the pain go away. I am incredibly disappointed with his behaviour. I feel utterly betrayed. He was supposed to be better than this. I think it feels particularly raw because it took me so long to open my heart to him because of previous relationships, and he knew this. He promised me that he was different and would not hurt me in this way again. But it seems that this was a serious lack of judgement on my behalf....again.

So I have decided that enough is enough. I am tired of focusing on relationships with men who always seem to let me down. My pre-new year resolution is to focus on a new relationship: the one with myself. I am going to try to nurture myself, heal myself and figure out what really makes this London Chick tick when she spends time on her own and embraces the loneliness that seems so pervasive in the aftermath of a relationship demise. Let's see what happens.....