As a professional woman, I feel like I am constantly running the gauntlet of trying to be taken seriously professionally while simultaneously maintaining my femininity, which I believe is what differentiates me in the predominantly male environment in which I work.
I work hard in order to prove my worth and earn my keep, and I believe I am good at my job. I regularly receive praise from clients and colleagues which one has to assume is because they share my view...
However, it is difficult to maintain the belief in your own self-worth when situations occur that would seem unimaginable for a male colleague.
For example, on a recent work trip abroad, a senior colleague of mine proceeded to get so drunk and be such an irritating pest on a flight from London Heathrow to North America that I truly wished there was an ejector button I could push to get rid of him over the Atlantic! He swapped seats so that he was sitting right next to me, and as he drank more and more (the crew continued to serve him incredibly!), he was grabbing my book, putting his hand in my lap, and tearing tiny pieces of his newspaper and throwing them at me across the small divide. Obviously, I was utterly mortified and politely but forcefully continued to ask him to stop.......a futile request as it turned out. Seven hours later we landed at our destination and he could hardly walk but had convinced himself that I was "grumpy" because I did not want to have a conversation with him...... The following day we attended meetings together and he had the audacity to ask if I had any painkillers since he felt he was coming down with bad flu.....clearly this is the modern euphemism for raging hangovers - perhaps I just missed the coining of that particular phrase...
Furthermore, after a recent dinner to celebrate the closing of a deal between lawyers and bankers, I went to the bathroom and upon leaving the cubicle discovered the law firm senior partner standing outside, suggesting that we skip the after party with everyone else and continue it in his room...! Clearly, I extricated myself from the situation as politely as possible, explaining that, while flattered, it was an inappropriate situation and I was not interested. Frankly, I was outraged at the presumptuous audacity of the man to think that such behaviour was acceptable or, indeed that I might acquiesce....! Unable to unleash my wrath upon him given his relative seniority and the ongoing professional interaction we were likely to have, I smiled sweetly, left the bathroom and reintegrated myself to the party.
Reflecting later on, in the comfort of my hotel room alone, I got to thinking as to why he had thought I would be interested - had I led him on? I am a friendly, polite and charming person but beyond that I didn't think i had behaved in a way that he could have misconstrued. Evidently, I had still been unclear about my disinterest as I received an SMS from said senior partner, notifying me of his room number and suggesting that if I changed my mind I would be more than welcome to join him! I waited until the following morning to reply, saying that I found his behaviour disrespectful and deeply insulting, and probably damaged my long-term career prospects in the process...but one has to surely draw the line somewhere...?
Is it ultimately possible for a professional woman to achieve an effective balance whereby men respect her as a professional and treat her respectfully, or at least in a manner that is commensurate with the woman's reciprocal behaviour? Indeed, I think that all we really ask for is to be treated with the equivalent respect (or disrespect) as our male counterparts. Surely that is justified.....but is it realistic?
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